One of the biggest aspects of healing is forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning bad behavior. Forgiveness is for your benefit. It’s best if you can forgive yourself first and then the other person.
There can be a lot of rage after betrayal or heartbreak. It can just take over. This is called the amygdala highjack, or the “reptilian brain” taking over. I can help you reprogram your subconscious with different techniques, so that this old part of your brain doesn’t take over.
Now to be honest, it can be very hard to forgive. I have been there. Forgiveness is not as simple as saying “I accept you’re sorry.” It’s a process that takes time.
But there are some things you can do to consciously.
One of the techniques I practice is to wish happiness for the person with whom you are angry. It does not mean the rage and anger goes away, it’s a process. Healing takes time. You may even go through a wide range of fluctuation emotions. The path from grief to a positive mindset is not a linear process. You could feel very loving in the afternoon, and then by the evening you are having flashbacks that can lead to anger.
Another coping technique I use can prevent flashbacks, or, help you deal with them when they do occur. I this the First Aid Kit for Flashbacks. This is essentially a plan for what you will do when you get triggered. It is a good idea to visualize it and be prepared for it, because triggers cannot be avoided. You just have to be ready for them!