Broken Heart Syndrome: This Mind-Body Connection Can Kill You

In popular culture, people often talk about experiencing such a strong instance of heartbreak due to loss that they feel like they could die. How many times have you heard people say: “I am afraid she will die of a broken heart if she doesn’t get help soon.”

Many of us have been in situations, where for even a brief moment, death seems preferable to life, if life means continuing on without a beloved spouse, parent, friend, or even pet.

Many people believe talking about dying from a broken heart is merely a simple turn of phrase—after all- everyone knows that a broken heart doesn’t really kill people, right?

But, do not write off such a phenomenon too soon; indeed it is possible to die from a broken heart. Having spent many years practicing anesthesiology in a famous cardiac hospital within a high-acuity setting, I have learned all about the strength of the mind-body connection. People can indeed die from a broken heart and this phenomenon is called Broken Heart Syndrome or Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy.

The American Heart Association says this about the phenomenon: “Broken heart syndrome, can strike even if you’re healthyWomen are more likely than men to experience the sudden, intense chest pain — the reaction to a surge of stress hormones — that can be caused by an emotionally stressful event.

It could be the death of a loved one or even a divorce, breakup or physical separation, betrayal or romantic rejection. It could even happen after a good shock (like winning the lottery.) Broken heart syndrome may be misdiagnosed as a heart attack because the symptoms and test results are similar. In fact, tests show dramatic changes in rhythm and blood substances that are typical of a heart attack. But unlike a heart attack, there’s no evidence of blocked heart arteries in broken heart syndrome. In broken heart syndrome, a part of your heart temporarily enlarges and doesn’t pump well, while the rest of your heart functions normally or with even more forceful contractions. Researchers are just starting to learn the causes, and how to diagnose and treat it.

The bad news: Broken heart syndrome can lead to severe, short-term heart muscle failure.

The good news: Broken heart syndrome is usually treatable. Most people who experience it make a full recovery within weeks, and they’re at low risk for it happening again (although in rare cases in can be fatal).”

I was partial witness to Broken Heart Syndrome in action. A colleague who worked as an ER physician called me on his way home. He felt the patient was having an heart attack, but something about it didn’t seem like a heart attack. I immediately asked about the patient’s mental state or recent stressors. The doctor admitted that the patient had just found out about his wife’s infidelity and that she abandoned the marriage with no warning. He had told my colleague that he was not sure how he could live without his wife. I immediately thought of Broken Heart Syndrome and asked my colleague to call the doctor who took over the patient’s case.

My colleague called the hospital not a second too late because the patient was experiencing deadly arrhythmias by that time and everyone feared this patient was at death’s door. When the doctor’s realized the patient was experiencing Broken Heart Syndrome, the patient was treated and the patient made a full recovery.

I cannot under-estimate the role of stress reduction and meditation in one’s life because the mind-body connection is so strong. If you are currently dealing with stressful events or are dealing with a broken heart, please consider working with me.

I have been through a tremendous personal heartbreak and I have come out the other side, healthier and happier for it. Do not keep it inside, friend, you deserve better than that. I would love to hear your story and to work with you. Please click the contact link so we can start working together.

Namaste and to your continued well-being,

 

Dr. Rajiv Parti

Forgiveness After Heartbreak

Forgiving someone who has broken your heart is a process that is necessary. Without forgiveness, the heartbreak you are experiencing will not be able to dissipate.

Plus, as long as we remain in a state of non-forgiveness or resentment, we live and exist in a negative energy state. You see, resentment has a lot of friends and none of these are friends to whom you would like to open your heart, body, or being.

Resentment’s best friend is anger and anger’s best friend is rage. Rage’s best friend is bitterness and bitterness’s best friend is pessimism. Resentment, anger, rage, bitterness, and pessimism make quite a team.

If you invite this team, whom I refer to as The Toxic Five, into your heart-home, it will be the biggest mistake you make in your life. If you remain in this state of non-forgiveness, The Toxic Five will take over and destroy you from within.

These Toxic Five destroy you by flooding your body with cortisol. And when this happens, cortisol puts you on the alert and this causes anxiety. Once anxiety sets in, you are set up for a full-blown panic attack.

Panic attacks often feel like heart attacks and there is a very reason for this. Emotions, whether they are good or bad, pool within the heart. This process exacerbates the feelings of having a broken heart and adds fuel to the fire of The Toxic Five.

For years, I was destroyed by The Toxic Five. If you have read my book, Dying to Wake Up, you recall the love-hate relationship with my father. While I owe my success to his strict discipline and his unwavering desire to see me excel, my father often used violence as a means to an end. Because of his own precarious survival as a teen, he only knew the language of raw survival. Often this language of raw survival is all brass tacks and no gentle guidance.

The beatings I received at the hands of my father were brutal. For years, I seethed in anger because our relationship was one only marked by violence. I did not know what it was like to be touched tenderly by my father. His disapproving gaze, his rough treatment of me, and his drive to bend me to his will were always with me.

It was the biggest irony of both my life and my death when my father was the very person to greet me on the other side. Not only did he greet me, he extended a hand into Hell to pull me out and show me the unconditional love that is Heaven itself.

When he and I were both stripped away of the mortal ego in death, pure love flowed between us. All of the years of pain washed away when my dad extended his hand into my afterlife.

He pulled me out of the lake of fire, Hell itself, and also pulled me out of my emotional hell, which had served as an emotional prison for years.  In the after-life, my father brought me personally to God to show me the compassion, all-encompassing, and eternal love that God has for all of us.

In that moment, the seed of forgiveness was planted in my heart. Just as quickly, I was whisked back into my body to face my material life again. Though the seed of forgiveness had been planted, it still needed to be watered and tended in order to bloom.

So how do you get rid of these Toxic Five?

The only way to get rid of The Toxic Five is through forgiveness.

Whether or not you are willing to hear it, the healing path requires forgiveness to be at its foundation.

If you are not ready to forgive, you may say to yourself, “But how can I forgive after my loved one hurt me in the deepest and most unimaginable ways?”

You may have heard this before, but I will say it again: forgiveness is for you. It may sound trite, but it is a powerful sliver of wisdom. While you may believe that forgiving someone means letting that person off the hook, you are really letting yourself off the hook.

When you make forgiveness the center of your being, The Toxic Five can no longer occupy the center of your being. Forgiveness makes her home in the center of your being and The Toxic Five can no longer exist there. Just like light drives away the darkness, The Toxic Five are driven away by forgiveness.

In his book, Forgive for Good, Dr. Fred Luskin says the following, “forgiveness helps people control their emotions so they maintain good judgment. They do not waste precious energy trapped in anger and hurt over things they can do nothing about. Forgiveness acknowledges we can’t change the past. Forgiveness allows us not to stay stuck in the past.”

How do I forgive?

Unless a hurtful person is still in your life, you must become aware of the fact that whatever occurred in the past is not present in your ‘now.’ All we have is the present and each of us can choose our thoughts in the present. Therefore, you must make the decision each moment to keep going over past events or to remain in the present.

Next, you must emotionally detach from the past. You need to ground yourself by taking a deep breath, feeling yourself present in your body, and letting yourself know that in that moment all is well.

Next, try to uncover underlying motives in your loved one’s behavior. In my own father’s case, he was living with chronic PTSD. His PTSD was due to his experience during ongoing wars after the creation of the modern states of India and Pakistan in 1947. He has known the face of hate, the face of poverty, and for a period of time even his own mortality. During this time, he did not know if the next moment would hold life or death for him and his family.

My father gave me frequent beatings because my father knew no better and also because he suffered from untreated PTSD. My father knew no better way to help me succeed. Still, even if he had he was daily facing down his own demons. This does not make my father’s behavior right or good.

However, looking at his perspective helped me understand a bigger picture. After I understood this larger picture, I was able to take that seed of forgiveness and cultivate compassion for my father.

I also understood that I was not blameless. I come from a culture and family system where the motto for raising children is akin to “spare the rod and spoil child.” The expression from my own culture talks of ‘bending a crooked nail to become straight.’ My father had been raised this way and in turn I had raised my son this way.

I came to understand that my oldest son had come to fear me more than love me. I had continued the abusive pattern from my childhood and had become my own father. In forgiving my father, I was also able to forgive myself and break the abusive pattern with my son.

On the other hand, unlike me, it could be that you are blameless. It could be that you experienced horrendous abuse as a child, but you refused to be abusive toward your own children or others. It could be that you cannot even comprehend the mindset of the person who hurt you; in fact, they could be monstrous without explanation.

Still, you must let go of what happened to you and focus on being in the now. Any time you re-play the abuse you suffered, you bring the abuse back to life. The only time replaying abuse can be effective is when you are being treated for PTSD and undergoing exposure therapy. I am referring to a very specific circumstance where a licensed psychotherapist knows how to expose you to trauma in bits and pieces. This exposure in small bits can lessen trauma’s hold on you. But, unless you are undergoing exposure therapy with a competent counselor, dwelling on the past only makes it more real. When the abuse is more real forgiveness is out of range.

If you cannot get over the thoughts of the past, use these thoughts to create a journal. I recommend writing a letter to yourself and giving yourself the comfort that you needed in the moment the abuse was occurring. Go back and tell your younger self that you are wonderful, amazing, beautiful, worthy, and most of all lovable. Whatever that person was doing to you in the moment had nothing to do with your worth. Write love letters to your younger self and take them to heart.

Finally, refuse to give to others the abuse that was given to you. Instead, find ways to cultivate unconditional love towards others. When you do kindness to others and think of them in loving and accepting ways, you expect feelings of self-love and self-worth. Any loving thought towards another being, whether it be human or animal places you within the universe of love.

Spend fifteen minutes a day forcing solely on loving thoughts and thoughts of gratitude. Occupy your mind more with what is right than what is wrong. Find concrete ways to dwell in the ‘love space’ whenever you can.

This also includes doing acts of love towards strangers. Open the door for people, allow someone in a hurry to cut in front of you in the grocery store, say “hello” to others and give strangers a smile. But, most of all, when you are faced with something that would normally trigger your own anger, choose kindness. Even if it is hard in the moment, staying in ‘love spaces’ and ‘kind spaces’ will start changing you from the inside out. This is when forgiveness really becomes powerful and you are transformed.

If you would like to know more about how to forgive someone who broke your heart, please click the contact form and reach out to me. I would love to hear from you!

Healing Heartbreak with Kundalini Yoga

Kundalini yoga known today is a 20th-century niche yoga synthesis comprised of many traditions including Hatha, Kriya, Tantra, and Laya yoga. Kundalini gets its name from the serpent-like Shakti –Life Force energy– of Tantrism.

Kundalini yoga was popularized in the late 1960s by Yogi Bhajan, who adding Sikh mantras and attached Tantric theories to yogic asanas (postures). His Kundalini yoga uses body postures and hand mudras, breathing, chanting, dancing, and meditating to transform and expand consciousness, and awaken and raise Life Force energy up the Chakra energy spine.

Emotional wounds of heartbreak not only affect the heart by contracting it, they wreak havoc on the nervous system as well. Kundalini yoga seeks to calm the nerves and soothe the heart so healing can take place. Kundalini “kriyas” (meaning: work or action) are a series of exercises or postures, pranayama (breathing), bandha locks, chanting, visualization or projections, in a specific sequence designed to produce specific effects. By using specific kriyas which help calm nerves and soothe strong emotions, and by focusing awareness on higher consciousness using mantras, Kundalini yoga can help heal heartbreak and strengthen a wounded spirit.

Kundalini yoga’s ability to raise and expand consciousness makes it a good fit with the Consciousness Based Healing method transmitted to me during my NDE. Kundalini yoga’s great ability to treat the Chakra energy spine, calm nerves and soothe strong emotions are why I recommend it to my clients.

Kundalini yoga also uses pranayama (breathing) and bandha locks (postures involving muscle contractions) which channel and align energy flow throughout the body. In coaching sessions, I will share with you the breathing and bandha-locks, kriya-mudras and meditations for processing and releasing grief and healing heartbreak. My coaching makes learning Kundalini yoga easy, and you can then practice these at home and include them in your spiritual routine. Practicing Kundalini yoga will help relieve anxiety and stress and will facilitate healing your broken heart.

Healing Heartbreak Kriya – Mudra

This mudra creates balance; it generates a subtle pressure which adjusts the heart meridian along the little finger and outer forearm, activating the “action nerve” junction with the autonomic system to reset itself by keeping the forearms parallel to the ground and involving the armpit reflexes; and finally, it uses the pranic influence of the middle finger and its Saturn and air qualities to quell residual emotional storms.

Posture: Sit in Easy Pose with a straight spine and a light Neck Lock.

Mudra: Palms together, lightly touching. The tip of the Saturn (middle) finger is at the level of the Third

Eye Point. The forearms are horizontal to the ground, elbows high. Look within.

(No mantra or breath specified.)

Time: Continue for 11, 31, or 62 minutes.

To end: Inhale, exhale, relax the breath, and with clasped hands stretch the arms up for 2 minutes.

Meditation for removing haunting thoughts..

There is a meditation yogi bhajan gave with 5 parts..thinking of a situation where you felt very hurt

1) bringing up the feeling,

2) feeling how the other person felt,

3) forgiving yourself,

4) forgiving them and

5) letting it go to the universe..

After each of the steps you breathe in, hold the breath and focus on the right eye and chant “wa,” the left eye-“hey,”,the tip onf the nose-“guru ,”and then let the breath out. You can repeat the same incident as much as needed, or go from one to another, whatever comes up. I did it for 90 days in the late 90’s when yogi b sent it to me..it is subtle and really starts the healing process. Not sure it is in a manual but have seen it in compiled old teachings, bound together but untitled, might ask if anyone has it…sat nam amrita.

Grief Release & To Heal a Broken Heart

Sit straight, and Tune In!

Part I:
Place your left palm flat against your heart center, with your right hand on top of it. Make your mouth into an “O” and begin very powerfully inhaling through your mouth, expanding the navel as you breathe in, and then exhaling very powerfully through your mouth, as you pull your navel in.

Continue in this way for 3-5 minutes. Allow your breath to enter your heart center, and clear all emotional conflict that you are going through.

Part II:
Bring your palms together in prayer pose. Place this mudra in front of your face, with the tips of your middle fingers at the level of your forehead. Keep your elbows out to the sides, arms parallel to the floor. Keep your eyes focused at your brow point (third eye). Hold the position with long, deep breathing through your nose.

Try to think of nothing!

This is very good for building nerve strength, and helps mend a broken heart. Continue for 11 minutes. At the end, inhale deeply, exhale and stretch for up to 2 minutes. Relax.

Awakened Men Support Women’s Autonomy

Something that comes up frequently for women during sessions is the issues they had in their relationship and the behavior of their male partner. Consciousness Based Healing provides a blueprint for consciously relating between partners and provides insight into what is going on and how to address it.

If a woman doesn’t feel she is considered as an equal or valued for her opinion, intelligence and ideas, she will feel diminished and ignored. In a conscious relationship, it is essential that the man recognizes, values, and supports women’s autonomy and empowerment.

New Paradigm Relationships

An awakened man will create a safe space for his partner and himself to thrive and grow together—as equals even though each will have unique talents that maybe the other one doesn’t have.

The old ways of domineering relationships are disappearing and new paradigm relationships built on conscious interactions and spiritual principles that honor a woman’s autonomy and help her feel free to express her soul’s delight are becoming more prevalent.

Awakened Men

Awakened men are not domineering or controlling of women in a vain attempt to feel superior or emotionally secure. He sees women as being equal to himself, to be considered and valued as equally worthy and with having the same inherent rights as he does.

An awakened man defends a woman’s right to be autonomous and in not needing a man to lead her and tell her what to do. This is the old patriarchal viewpoint which the angelic beings told me was hurting humanity and needs to be replaced by higher expressions of love between men and women.

I had to divest my psyche of the old domineering ways of patriarchy before he could heal completely and restore his marriage. In doing so, he not only pleased his wife but freed himself, and became a more sacred masculine man. More and more men are waking up to supporting women’s autonomy and creating conscious relationships that thrive in love together.

Women’s Empowerment

As a women’s empowerment coach, I guide women in untangling the webs of patriarchy that have infiltrated their relationship with men. As a man who underwent tremendous transformation to release my outmoded beliefs and meet my wife as an equal, reverentially welcoming her as co-creator of our marriage and honoring her perspective and needs, I understand what is required in the guidance in this process.

Women report they feel safe and respected while working with me, and that my coaching helped them be clear about what was important to them and how they can reclaim their power to feel whole and thrive in love again.

How to Apply the 12 Steps to Heal your Broken Heart


The journey of healing from heartbreak is a spiritual process. Even if you are not religious or reject a faith background, the fact is that any radical act of transformation is spiritual in nature.

What I mean is that, healing requires letting go of the things we can’t control. And in so doing, we are necessarily trusting in something else outside of us. If we don’t, we suffer from anxiety, depression, and lack of well-being.

As Quantum physics has shown–whether you call it the Field, the Universe, God, or the unseen forces–we are literally part of a much bigger show.

Acceptance of this truth is a large component of 12 step programs that support recovery from addictions. Those with addictions are able to recover when they let go and turn their struggle over to a higher/deeper power, even if that is their community of peers.

I have found that the 12 steps also support healing from heartbreak. For each step there is a  parallel process as it applies to the pain of a broken heart. Below I have revised the 12 steps accordingly:

12 Steps to Recovering from a Broken Heart

  1. We admitted we were powerless over, self-pity anger and resentment—that our lives had become unmanageable.

  2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (for me Green Tara and Medicine Buddha) could restore us to sanity.

  3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him or Her.

  4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We ask ourselves, “What role did I play in this heartbreak?”

  5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs to a friend, coach, or therapist.

  6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, to change ourselves before trying to change others.

  7. We humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings of revenge, jealousy, despair, anger, depression, or non-acceptance.

  8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all, especially to people who caused heartbreak and more importantly to ourselves.

  9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

  10. We continued to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Especially when triggered or haunted by past images.

  11. We sought through prayer and meditation and service to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to our brokenhearted brothers and sisters, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Take some time to apply these steps to the pain of your broken heart, and you will be amazed how much solace you can find.

Have faith and take it one day at a time…

Much love,
Rajiv

The Healing Power of Eros

In Western culture, Eros (erotic love) has a schizophrenic character. On one hand, eroticism is blatantly used as a commercial tool to attract attention and buy products, while on the other hand it is considered an impolite subject to talk about in general company. Eros and sex are inflated and idealized in men’s magazines, movies and further conflated with violence in video games and entertainment apps.

What is Eros?

Eros is the primal desire to connect and procreate—on all levels, not just sexually. It is Life Force energy with a driving will to sensually connect. It is an unstoppable force that will always find a way so that love’s greater purpose is served.Eros serves the prime directive of life—creating new life, new expression, and new experiences.

Through the stages of healing from heartbreak, it can be very difficult to feel Eros within you. In rarer cases, some women have an opposite reaction to the loss of their relationship and heartbreak and unexpectedly find themselves with unusually high libido. In either of these cases, it indicates an imbalance of Eros in their energy system.

In the latter stages of grieving and healing from heartbreak, it might be possible to begin reconnecting with the Eros within you and begin to vivify your body and life again with its healing power. Don’t feel rushed into trying to have your Eros up or feel judged that you don’t feel erotic right now. Only try what feels right for you, and only when you feel ready for it.

Eros as Healer

Eros is more than a desire to have sex—it seeks connection and communion with another. This is why erotic stories are so popular because we connect through the activation of our senses in the mental imagery, thoughts, and visions evoked by the story telling.

Enabling Eros’s healing abilities is a matter of channeling its energy into creative acts, like art, music, or dance, which also connects you to other people who share your appreciation of what you create. Eros is expressed and experienced by activating the senses and interacting, being influenced by its energy through creative interpretation and engagement.

Women recovering from heartbreak -when they are ready to do so- can practice embodiment exercises which strengthen their mind-body-heart connection and integration. Outlets of erotic expression for women include Belly Dance (or Pole Dancing) where women sensually move and feel empowered in their flow of Eros.

The Power of Eros

Eros has an incredible ability to reconnect the broken or hurt parts of us and generate feeling empowered by new connections with new associations and new possibilities for new beginnings, new opportunities, and new relationships.

My empowerment coaching helps women who feel their Eros is blocked use alternative methods of engaging their Eros and benefit from its healing power. My unique healing approach, Dr. Raj’s Integrative Process™, uses energy and spiritual healing methods to address blocked or imbalanced Eros through phone or Skype sessions.

If you would like me to be your supportive coach while reconnecting with your Eros and would like to know more about how to accomplish this, please press the button below and a session request form will be sent to you.

 

Grief Shock: What it is and how to deal with it

The first and most fundamental part of my Integrative Healing Process, is dealing with the shock aspect of grief, or what I call Grief Shock.

Grief shock is the initial difficulty of processing the loss, because it is unexpected or not in line with what you thought was true.

It is essentially a resistance to acceptance, because your mind is asking:“How can this be true?” or “This can NOT be happening.” It is not only the experience of loss, but a calling into question your entire sense of reality. It is grief combined with self-doubt and feelings of powerlessness.

Grief Shock feels like a part of your own heart was literally ripped out of your chest. Even if your beloved did not physically and suddenly die, it can feel like that to your heart.

No matter how complicated your relationship was, if your heart was bonded with your beloved’s, then your heart was–on a very real level–connected to theirs.

So regardless of the nature your break-up, your heart must actually learn how to grow apart. It has to disconnect from that other heart and breathe itself back home again.

This is the gift inherent in the pain.

If you are in the initial stages of your heart-break, or even further down the road but still having waves of shock, here are some empowering steps you can take to soothe yourself, heal your heart, and move towards full acceptance.

How to Deal with Grief Shock

  • Identify that you are in Grief Shock. You are in Grief Shock if you: Feel overwhelmed with strong emotions; Vacillate between grief and longing; Question if the break up was the right move; Bargaining on ways to get back together; Riding waves of anger, resentment, or revenge. It is crucial to name where you are. You can kindly and compassionately say, “Sweetheart, you are in shock. But you are ok, you will get through this.” Just name for yourself that you are in shock and that you are hurting and that you are ok. This is a great opportunity to practice self-love. How would you speak to somebody you loved who was going through this experience? Give yourself that same empathy.
  • Tune into the Emotional and Physical Experience. As soon as you can recognize that you are in Grief Shock, notice what’s also concurrently happening within your body. See if you can locate where your sensations are the strongest. Notice your breath and how deeply you are able to breathe. Likely it is shallow and your heart may even physically hurt. Where in your body do you feel it? Does this sensation have a color, temperature, or texture? Feel it without interpretation.
  • Touch the Pain. Once you can connect with your body and your breath, take a moment and put your hand where you are the most constricted. For example if it is your heart, rest your hand on your heart. See if you can literally hold your heart. Take 12 deep, slow breaths into your heart, or wherever you are feeling the most constricted. As you breathe, muster as much self -compassion for how you are feeling. Try your best to truly stay present with your pain. For it is your pain longing to be met that that causes the Grief Shock. So once you meet your pain, it morphs and defuses into acceptance (which then allows true movement through loss).
  • Connect with Nature. If you can, this exercise is even more powerful if you can lie down on the Earth. Put your belly on the Earth and let the Mother Earth hold you and breath with you. Even if lying on the Earth is not possible, you can invite your senses to open to nature, wherever you are. Take a walk through the forest, breathe in sea air, or simply go outside to feel the breeze. Science has shown this is physically grounding and emotionally calming.
  • Mentally Reframe. As you start to calm and settle down, you should feel some softening of the constriction. Remind yourself that your totality as a human being goes beyond your emotions or this relationship. Consciously acknowledge that you are a part of the vast ecosystem of Life. And finally, when you are ready, ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” If you need water, food, a friend, or a nap, take care of yourself. This type of nurturing will heal your wounded heart.

Remember, grief shock comes in waves. You never know what might trigger you. If there are particular people or places that you know will trigger you, avoid putting yourself in these situations if you can.

In those unavoidable moments when the shock is strong, the most important thing is to let yourself stay open to what is present. The intensity WILL pass.

Remain compassionate and gentle with yourself, never judging yourself for your struggle.

Good luck with these steps! Let me know how it goes and if I can support you.

Much love,
Rajiv

 

 

21 Things to Do When You are Feeling Low

This morning I didn’t feel like blogging as I was feeling low. Part of healing from heartbreak is getting through the day when you just don’t feel like dealing with life.

We all go through these phases once in a while. But the very thing we need to feel better, is usually the thing we don’t want to do!

Here is the trick: Do it before you feel ready. It will make you feel better! Actions transform consciousness, even though the tendency is to wait until inspiration hits.

Don’t wait! Have a look at the suggestions below, to help you take one day at a time. (If you continue to feel depressed or your functioning becomes significantly impaired, please don’t hesitate to get professional help).

21 Things to Do When You are Feeling Low

  1. Gratitude, write down things you are grateful for.
  2. Call a friend; go out for a lunch or coffee with her/him.
  3. Go shopping. Ha! ha! Have you ever heard a Doctor prescribing shopping?
  4. Go on Facebook and chat or connect with friends.
  5. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
  6. Have great sex. It is very healing. It gives you glimpse of deep reality. Of Oneness.
  7. Go out in bright sun light. Natural sunlight is very healing.
  8. Go out in nature, hiking, beach, jogging, walking.
  9. Go to the gym. Have a good work out. Moving the body calms the mind.
  10. Get a massage, otherwise do a self-massage, it is very calming and relaxing.
  11. Read a good book it could be Bible, Gita, a Novel etc
  12. Do something to keep you occupied, do your hobbies,
  13. Pray.
  14. Meditate.
  15. Take a yoga class.
  16. Breathing exercises.
  17. Watch funny movies. I like watching funny kid’s cartoons.
  18. Expresses you emotions give them a way out, to friend, journal, and blog them.
  19. Indulge yourself, with good food, great wine, whatever pleases you
  20. Call your family.
  21. Lastly have Hope that this phase will pass too.

 

The Cosmic Dance of the Masculine and Feminine

The Cosmic Dance of Masculine and Feminine

Mystics have described the existence of the universe as the result of “Leela” (divine play) in a cosmic dance of primal archetypes as deities: Shakti (feminine) and Shiva (masculine). The images we see of Shakti and Shiva together represent the creative interplay between feminine and masculine creative forces, synergistically working behind the scenes of reality.

Each aspect of this primordial dyad has unique characteristics which surreptitiously contribute to what we see unfolding around us in our experience of life. Their interaction is a result of co-creating in cooperation together, and is further acted on and experienced by women and men—and reflected in their relationships.

Yin & Yang

In the cosmic dance together, the masculine represents focused and planned action towards a specific goal, whereas the feminine comprises spontaneous and undirected motion with a multitude of possible outcomes. The masculine is related to the mind and thinking, and the feminine is related to the body and feeling.

The famous Yin Yang symbol depicts masculine and feminine in dynamic interplay and flow, working together to create the whole of life’s experience. One side of the image is not larger than the other and one does not dominate over the other—they work together. This is true for both men and women, each has feminine and masculine energy within them—and is manifest in their intimate relationships as well.

The Human Experience

When there is heartbreak, a person’s balance and synergy with their masculine and feminine aspects is upset and can be thrown off. Men and women are the materialized, corporeal versions of the cosmic dance—having both feminine and masculine aspects within them. In people, when there is an imbalance or an impairment of the natural flow of the feminine or masculine energy it causes suffering.

Another way the cosmic dance of the feminine and masculine shows up is with partners of an intimate love relationship. Relationships are an external reflection of the inner reality of each partner’s state of being. When in balance, the masculine and feminine help partners to understand each other better and have more compassion for each other when there are challenges.

When a relationship is suddenly and unwantedly ended it also affects the inner balance of feminine and masculine. When there is heartbreak and the loss of a relationship the sudden dissolution causes a disconnection in feminine and masculine collaboration and purpose together which can be disorienting and debilitating.

Leela—the Eternal Dance

The divine play and dance of masculine and feminine, called “Leela” is something we can consciously work with and participate in. With help from an experienced guide, we can discover the places in life where there is an imbalance and correct it.

My Integrative Process™, which uses Consciousness Based Healing methods given to me in my near death experience, restores any imbalances of masculine and feminine, in order to to bring back the healthy flow again. Through this process, I can guide you step by step to create healing and renewal that treats the symptoms of imbalance that show up in your life experiences and interactions.

If you would like to work with me, please click here to begin the process.

 

Invoking the Divine Feminine to Heal Heartbreak

Heartbreak is the result of an unexpected change, a letdown, a betrayal, or an ending of a love relationship. A broken heart comes from a deep wound that can shut down your heart emotionally, thus blocking your ability to give or receive love, and numbing your ability to love yourself or be available in all your other relationships.

Energetically, the Chakra energy system* contracts and creates restrictions to the flow of life force energy that nourishes you. Physical symptoms and potential health issues can develop if the Chakra system isn’t cleared, healed and balanced.

When your heart is broken, the disruption and imbalance in the Chakra energy system directly effects the Heart, Stomach and Womb Chakras. The 3rd Chakra (stomach) is about personal power, identity, and integrity—which takes a big hit when there is heartbreak. Another effected Chakra is the Womb (2nd Chakra) which is connected to creativity, sex, and intimate relationships. You can understand why this Chakra would be so impacted by the loss of a love relationship. And finally, as you would expect, the Heart Chakra is affected—this is the seat of love and is connected not only to the physical heart but also to the emotional and psychological condition.

Heartbreak leaves its mark and can cause chronic sadness or depression. If left unresolved and unhealed, heartbreak can become a physical and emotional condition that affects health as well as mental stability and balance. Prolonged heartbreak can induce chronic stress, trouble sleeping, weakened immune system, anxiety and eating disorders, digestive issues, and identity crisis.

Reiki energy healing is part of my approach (Dr. Raj’s Integrative Process™) which provides energy clearing, healing and balancing, and is included in sessions with me.

You are not alone

Another important aspect of heartbreak is the impact this has on a person’s sense of connection with the divine. The world of the heartbroken contracts into loneliness and isolation, sometimes dangerously so. Feeling alone is one of the most pervasive emotional aches the heartbroken can carry. This delusion of isolation is in essence a spiritual problem, as it is a lack of awareness of how we are all connected.

But you truly are not alone. One of the 7 Eternal Truths I learned from my DNE (near death experience) is this: “Divine beings exist to help and guide us.” We must take advantage of this truth, and invoking the Goddess is a powerful way to spiritually heal a broken heart. If you invoke the Goddess’s compassion and grace, you can deeply heal the pain, hurt, anger, and wounded heart.

How to Invoke the Divine Feminine to Heal Your Broken Heart

One way to invoke the Goddess is through using mantras to elicit grace. Mantras* are “sacred utterances” in which a sound, word, syllable, or group of words are repeated. Mantras are thought to have spiritual powers and can induce an altered state—often associated in connection with a deity.

The Goddesses Tara and Kuan Yin are the epitome of love, as well as the source of compassion and grace.  The following mantras are very effective in awakening the Goddess and asking for her bestowal of blessings, and the release of pain and suffering.

Mantra to invoke Tara:
Om tare tuttare ture soha

Mantra to invoke Kuan Yin
Namo, Guan, Shi Yin Pusa

Mantra for either Tara or Kuan Yin
Om mani padme hum

Try these in a quiet space at home and just tune into the sounds, which serve as a grounding and springboard for greater consciousness and a portal to receive divine guidance. You will be amazed at how effective these can be in helping to not only release your suffering but also step into your power and passion to create better love in the future.

One-to-One Help with Heartbreak

If you are interested in getting support with this, consider one-to-one sessions. Dr. Raj’s Integrative Process™ includes energy and spiritual healing methods like those included here. If you are suffering from heartbreak and would like my support with healing and returning to thriving in love again, click on the button below and you will be sent a session request form. I look forward to supporting you!

In service,
Rajiv Parti, MD

 

For definitions of Chakra and Mantra see these links:

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra

**https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantra